Sunday, September 10, 2006
I got my school schedule. I kind of like it. There are a lot of benefits to it. For example, I get out at 1:30 on Mondays which is great. But I have to be in school 20 minutes earlier this year which sucks. But I have to be in school by 10:10 on Thursdays which is also great. Too bad I can't enjoy that because I'm on the ultimate Frisbee team. It's the big sport at Beacon. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I went to Beacon. Anyway practice is at 6:30 in the morning. So I'll be at school any way. But I guess it'll give me time to sleep in the library or do some homework that I might not have done the night before. So I have mixed feelings about it all.
As for the classes themselves, I have Mr. Jacobs for history which BLOWS SO MUCH! I had him last year for math and he was such a P**K. I hate him SO MUCH. I got digital film which is awesome because I get to make my own movies this year. I don't have to take global this year. Now it's American history. Personally I would rather global. I don't like American history. I take Chemistry which should be fun. Making things explode and what not. I love English class; always have. I like to read and then discuss books. I was also promoted to the next level of Spanish which is cool. Most people can't understand why I chose to take Spanish if I'm Latino and already know it. But I want to learn to speak proper Spanish. Castellano is what they teach us. It's the Spanish that is spoken in Spain . I really like the class itself because I learn a lot. I never knew how to write in Spanish, but now I can write in Spanish almost as well as I can write in English.
I went school shopping with Matt the other day. I got everything that I needed which is a relief. It was a good day and Matt and I got a chance to talk. He told me he didn't mean to ignore me. He also said he only started hanging out with those other kids because he felt he didn't fit in with out group of friends. I told him that was bull and he should have just said something. I realize that just saying something is the obvious answer. But why is it that when it's you, you never seem to think of it? You always think if you do say something, things will go wrong in someway. Well point is Matt and I have patched things up which is good.
Well later that day we met up with Colleen and Kyle and went to go skate (yes I do skate board; I'm just learning so I suck but it's fun so I keep doing it). We had a lot of fun. It was getting late so we decided to go and get pizza. While we were at the pizza place we were all talking and laughing. Matt did his impressions of people like teachers or his mom. Colleen laughed and play fought with Kyle. Kyle laughed and pretended to be hurt when Colleen hit him. And I sat back and watched. I laughed a lot. It was the most fun I had in a long time and we weren't even doing anything special. Just hanging out and having pizza. Then I began to think, these are the best days of my life. Someday I will tell my children stories about when I was learning how to skate or about getting pizza at Sal and Carmine's with friends. I was feeling nostalgic about things that weren't even over yet. Is that possible? At that moment I suddenly began to appreciate me youth in a new way and for once I wasn't in a hurry to grow up. Then I felt bad about all of the years that I wasted wanting to be older. For once I wanted to stay 17 forever.
Emily and I are still in the same position as we were in before. Where stuck and I'm not sure if I should put in the effort to get us unstuck. At my age I shouldn't be committed to anything serious. I should be exploring my options. But I think I actually love this girl. I think that's what really scares me. I fell so different when I'm with her. When I'm with her all of my doubts about us leave and I'm genuinely happy. Should I condemn my happiness in pursuit of something that might be different? Not necessarily good, just different. I think I'm going to talk to her about this soon. I am happy when I'm with her don't get me wrong. It just seems like there are way to few opportunities to be with her recently, and that can't improve when school starts. We don't go to the same school.
If anyone has any advise I'd love to hear it. You can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org . It doesn't have to be advise, if any of you guys would like to ask me a question or would like to get something off your chest you can e-mail me and I will respond no questions asked.